“Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face” … Truvey Jones aka Dolly Parton “Steel Magnolias” 1989
Hey y’all! Lets get into a little Botox talk! Before you start rolling your eyes or poo pooing the subject, admit it. You’ve either done it or have thought about doing it if you are in the over 35 set. If you are not in that age range, then listen up! Some very good research has gone into this for you to use later on down the road. Save and Print!
Truvey’s words above never rang true to me until I hit the magical age of 35. Oh I’d heard people talk about their lines and wrinkles, but hell I was 18 when that movie came out. I was still shedding the vernix God had given me. I had baby smooth skin until that magical age of 35. Everything age related seemed to happen to me at 35. We’ll have to get into that topic another time.
I always lived by, and still do, another Truveyism, “Smile, it increases your face value!” I smile a lot. I smile when I’m happy, I smile when I’m nervous, I smile when I’m embarrassed and I smile when I’m angry. The angry smile is really saying “I would kill you if they wouldn’t take away my shoe collection in the pokey.” Somewhere along the line though, I would stop smiling, my lips would turn down, but my face didn’t seem to want to let go of the expression. I started noticing those tiny cute crinkles around my eyes were looking like those rows farmers dig to plant corn! Ugh! And, the line across my forehead? I swear you could see my future in it somewhere. Get it: palm reading? O.K. it wasn’t that funny, but I’m smiling.
So I decided to start thinking about trying Botox. I wasn’t exactly sure where to go around my place but I was on the look out. Well, let me tell you, you do not have to look too far. It seems they are giving weekend workshops to just about anyone who might want to get into this lucrative business. I started being approached by every doctor, dentist, hair removal person at my spa, and just any random strip mall place right next to the dry cleaners and L.A. Nail. “Just one, just one nail.” I love Anjelah Johnson, but I digress. I imagine all these people at a weekend workshop practicing on each other and coming out on the other end with certificates in hand and all looking like the Edvard Munch painting The Scream.
I decided to take the plunge and give Botox a try, but I sure as heck wasn’t going to do it at one of these weekend warrior establishments. If someone was going to inject me with Botulism, it was going to be a trained Botulism professional.
Tip number one here: only trained professionals!
I found a fantastic doctor after asking around for some referrals by those that I know that have had the Botulism help. The doctor I chose came highly recommended. So off I go! I would be back to baby smooth by that night. Yeah right!
The first thing that happens when you go in, is the evaluation to define the areas you want injected. Around the eyes, the forehead, the number 11 that starts to creep in between your brow. All pretty normal places right? Well, then she says, “Crinkle your nose” so I do, and then she says, “We should get that crinkle too.” Hmmm, I only make that face when something smells bad. Mostly that happens when one of the three men in my house decides it’s funny to pass gas in the room I’m in and run away and peep around the corner until it hits so they can watch my face. Definite nose crinkle! Then she starts checking the lines around my mouth. They’ve never bothered me before but she looks very concerned about them. “We should fill those just a touch before they get any worse.” That sounds like something I say to my kids when they have a cut, “We should take care of that before it gets infected.” So I again agree, and we are off to the races!
Inject, fill, inject, fill, inject fill, and wipe off the tears, repeat! None of it was that bad except the horrendous sound those injections make. The needle has to go all the way through to the muscle, thereby going through a layer of something (I’m too lazy right now to look up the proper word) but it sounds like ice cracking in your face!
OK, ready for tip number two? Squeezy ball!
I can’t say that with enough emphasis, SQUEEZY BALL! They gave me a ball to squeeze to help with the nerves while she was doing her thing. When they give you the shots with the wee needle it feels like a sneak attack every time. Squeeze the ball, Squeeze the ball!
The doctor finishes, writes up my chart and sends me to the front desk to pay my $XXX.XX amount for the cc’s I had. All the nurses and front desk people tell me how much I am going to LOVE having this done and that I’ve gotten in at just the right time for my age. Never did figure out what that meant, but I think it was supposed to mean, “Damn girl, you are getting pretty long in the tooth!” No mirrors in sight, so I set out to the car and think, “Hot Damn, I bet I look 18 again.” Not quite!
What I looked like was Cindy Lou Who from the Dr. Seuss books that had a bad case of measles! What, What, What?! The area where the filler went in my face was really swollen from all the massaging, and the injection sites around my eyes and forehead had little prick marks. The bad news was I had to fly out the next day for meetings in Los Angeles!
Tip number three: never plan anything for a few days after your procedure unless you want to do some explaining.
I had a friend once who went in to get filler in the lines around her mouth. She is a person who bruises very easily and by the next day she had purple marks in the shape of a circle around the outside of her lips. She looked like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland for a week! She had to go to work that way! We came up with a little fib for her to tell people. She was drinking out of a cup when someone “accidentally” hit the cup and slammed it into her face. It seemed like a good idea at the time. See I’m smiling again.
Well, after it was all said and done, things finally did come out beautifully. No more crinkles and lines and the swelling did go down after a couple of days. She is an expert and a perfectionist and she never puts in too much which keeps me from looking like I am permanently walking through hurricane gale-force winds!
Again, these are little tips for the young ones, or for those that may be thinking about trying to keep your sexy face smooth. If none of that applies to you, you can just point and laugh and scream out “SHE HAS BOTULISM” the next time you see me!
One last smile No crinkles in that!
I took Lori and Blis with me to meet Denise Fogle at Schilling Medical Spa in Stockbridge Georgia to try a little Botox for themselves. Check out the episode to see how they liked it!
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